I am Not Dead; A Lizard Light Tale.

Despite what you may be thinking due to my mysterious and somewhat lengthy absence, I am Not Dead. I am, in fact, alive, though not with a Capital A, only with a lowercase a. I'm sure I've said something about not doing well with Midwestern winters, and though it's still technically NOT winter, as far as I know, it is only a technicality.

I've been using my lizard light to trick myself into feeling like it's daytime (and am sitting under its blue LED glare at this very moment), then going to take a nap. On Friday night I stayed up until 2 a.m. out of sheer stubbornness, then slept until 3 p.m. on Saturday. And this is after using my light regularly. This does not bode well for the coming months.

I would really love to move. I have my sights set on Southern California, where I grew up. "Winter" was a cool, wet season. The plants got droopy and a little sparse, there was the occasional three-day torrential downpour, and coat meant the same thing as jacket because, face it, your typical everyday Southern Californian doesn't need a real coat. Thirty-two degrees is freezing. Literally! Zero degrees is something which simply does not occur.

There is, however, little chance that I can leave the state. My child has another parent, and long story short, that other parent will not allow me to move. Again, very long story.

So one time, at the cheese factory, they wouldn't let me wear a ring because it was a hazard to have jewelery above the waist, but the palm-sized stuffed turtle I had clipped to my belt loop was fine. Go figure.